About three months ago I "fell off the wagon" which means I went back to old habits of eating junk food and being sedentary after several months of eating clean (mostly fruits and veggies, very little processed food, no junk food) and exercising at least 20 minutes a day 5-6 times a week.
Before I started eating clean I remember being so tired all the time. I didn't want to move any more than I had to. Doing the smallest tasks wore me out and made my body ache, especially my knees and feet. Just to climb a few steps left me breathing heavy and feeling light headed. So, I decided I was going to give it my all (again for about the millionth time). I did great with just a few slip ups where I would give in to cravings for junk food. I was amazed at the amount of energy I had in just a couple weeks.
Then, somewhere along the way towards the end of the year I got discouraged because I wasn't seeing the results I had expected. I thought by eating clean and exercising the weight would just melt off. I lost 25 lbs, but I thought it should be much more than that. Stress was also increasing because the holidays were approaching and I didn't have money for gifts. Even though I knew that wasn't the reason for the season and my family would understand, it was a position I hadn't been in for many years.Our business wasn't paying the bills and I didn't know how to deal with the financial pressure. So, I started reaching for the comfort food, giving into cravings, and stopping at fast food restaurants more often - all the things that had led to the morbid obesity and diverticulitis disease I had thought I had resolved to change.
I brought candy in the for office jar. (For some reason it bugs me when it's empty.) So, all day I would eyeball the candy and think, "No, you can't have it." Like a kid, telling myself no made me want it even more. I would find myself thinking, "just one" and that would often lead to one more and a handful after that.
Before I realized what happened I was back to my old eating pattern of whatever I want whenever I want. I still ate healthy food too, but the junk food had found it's way back into my life. The closer it got to the holidays the stronger the temptation became to indulge. Rich, creamy, comfort foods was everywhere and that neglected kid inside of me rejoiced!
By the end of the year, I had gained back 15 lbs of the 25 lbs I had worked so hard all year to lose. More importantly, the lethargy had returned. I was back to wanting to sit on the couch or lay across the bed and read or watch "good TV" instead of being active.My inner child was now crying. Was this how life was always going to be? No energy. Hurting tummy. Food in place of love. Taking care of myself is the only way I know to set her free.
Like many people I decided January 1st I was going to go back to my clean eating program. I asked my husband to take all his junk food to his man cave instead of having it in the kitchen where it was tempting me. It's amazing how much out of sight out of mind works. I don't know what food he has in there and I don't care to know. As long as I don't see it, I don't think about it.
I made him a pumpkin pie a couple days ago and last night around midnight when I know I was tired and probably dehydrated I had a piece of it. Something happens to my willpower after midnight when tempting food is around. It's like the old ingrained patterns take over. I don't think as clearly about my goals and how the food will affect me. I didn't beat myself up about it and was actually proud of myself for only eating one piece. There was a time when one piece would have led to eating the whole pie. First thing this morning I threw the rest of the pie away. It gave hubby heartburn anyway and I didn't need it staring me down all day. So, the best way to resolve that issue is to not have trigger foods around. Get it out! This makes such a difference for me.
Besides that piece of pumpkin pie, since January 1st I have eaten mostly plant-based food, very little processed food, and no junk food. In just the 8 days since the beginning of the year, I have released 7 lbs. I don't want to say "lost 7 lbs" because I don't want to find them again. I want to release the weight, set it free to come back to me in the form of energy and that is exactly what has happened.
For the first few days, I went through a bit of a "detox" from all the sugar and chemicals that was in my body from the processed food. Detox for me feels a little like getting a cold or flu. It makes me have a headache, sometimes other body aches too, extremely tired, and an overall ill feeling. I knew to expect it. I have learned that eating a few walnuts helps slow down the detox, so I have put them in my smoothies and sometimes eat a few walnuts (not more than a handful because the calories rack up quick) as a snack with raisins.
Today, I feel good. I can tell the difference in my energy level. I want to get up and move. It feels so good to be back on track.
I want this feeling for you too! It can happen for you and me. It will happen if we stay focused and do everything we can to support our goals. Cleaning the junk food out of our living space helps. It sets us up for success. I don't know about you, but I want to win this battle of the bulge once and for all and do the happy dance with my inner child.
I wish you a healthy and happy day!
Kathy
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